Lame charity pitch + guilt + see-through marketing = Crap-tastic!
So Taco Bell has a new pitch: “Help feed the hungry.” That’s right, the marketing geniuses who gave you “Forthmeal” “I’m Full!” and the half-pound burrito now want to you to donate a dollar to “help feed four people” in some cry-baby Sally Strothers pitch every time you order up the same food assembed in various ways. Now, I’ve got nothing against feeding the hungry. It’s a noble cause, and I’ve always admired those who tilt at impossible-to-accomplish windmills.
No, what I do have something against is a company spending millions to convince already-fat humans that they need a fourthmeal between dinner and breakfast during which they should shove half-pound tubes of meat and slurried beans into their churro holes–telling ME that I need to help feed the hungry. Worse, all the geniuses at Taco Bell are doing is COLLECTING OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY. What’s missing? TACO-Freakin-BELL’S MONEY, that’s what.
Worse, if you donate, you can get a free downloaded song from Mariah Carey’s new album. This is all helpfully displayed in a large sign on the counter, upon which the horrifying visage of Mariah stares out confusedly from indiscriminate shadows. In case you’re wondering, Mariah shills for Pepsi, the eponymous root of Pepsico, which owns Taco Bell.
So what is this, really? A desperate attempt to market Mariah’s new album in Taco Bells across the country, hitched to an otherwise noble cause that’s designed to make me forget I’m being marketed to with a cloud of guilt that comes when the waitron behind the counter is forced to ask every customer if they want to donate.
Want to impress me? Donate the money it took to make the ad campaign to feeding the hungry. And stop making me feel guilty for refusing to help you market some washed-up crooner to the masses on my nickel.
Until then? I remain unimpressed.