Guess what: We got the joke, and it sucked.
I’m not talking about morons who misuse the word to mean “figuratively,” or “metaphorically,” which is not just a little bit wrong, but pretty much every bit of wrong you can have, all rolled into one gi-normous ball (”His head literally exploded”). Nope, plenty of other eggheads have jumped on that bandwagon.
Instead, I’m talking about people who tack the “literally” onto the end of a sentence, as if to squeak with glee, “Look at how clever I am! I made a pun! Wheeee!” Examples: “Britney Spears Overexposed-Literally.” “Ready to Drive Mom Crazy, Literally.” And “Second Life Rocks (Literally).”
Aside from their obvious lack of agreement on how to properly punctuate their sentences, these would-be humorists are not just pointing out their own (fairly obvious, and obviously lame) attempts at cleverness. They’re also making a fundamental assumption that the rest of us are too freakin’ stupid to notice the pun without the person who just made it grabbing us by the hair and pointing us at it. Puh-leez.
Here’s the thing, idiots: 1. We noticed the pun before we got to the end of the sentence; 2. It’s nowhere near as clever as you think it is; 3. You’ve actually managed to irk us subconsciously; and 4. We just decided you’re a dope.
Know what would be clever? Since the word is so overused as to be meaningless, distracting and annoying (the trifecta!) consider using something better: “Britney Spears Overexposed–desperately” “Ready to Drive Mom Crazy–Clinically.” and “Second Life Rocks–Musically.” And sync up on the punctuation while you’re at it. Hmmm?
Better yet, spare us the childlike self-absorption of your shallow mind, drop the whole secondary-word thing completely and let the sentence stand on its own–without a lame crutch.
Until you do, I remain,
Unimpressed